Life's trials and tribulations

God is in control of every situation. He has his big, strong, powerful & mighty hand holding mine. I should trust him in my trials. I shouldn't worry. Everything is going to be o.k. He comforts me. He cares for me and my family....

These are a few of my thoughts at this moment. Last Friday we found out that Little Boy Morton has some sort of urinary blockage. The problem that was first noticed at our 18 week ultrasound is still there and is even more apparent. My prayer was not answered in this circumstance (i prayed that on the 1st ultrasound, we just caught him at a "full" moment). This was unfortunately not the case. We were referred to a pediatric urologist at Children's/UAB with a preliminary/suspected diagnosis of Posterior Urethral Valves. My OB made it sound pretty benign. However, he called the neonatologist to ask a few questions as well as confirm who to send us to and when. The neonatologist told him that the little one would need surgery pretty soon after birth and would have either a catheter or a abdominal wall stint like thing pretty much immediately. As far as prenatal management, I will have serial ultrasounds monitoring my amniotic fluid level...which, at this time, is normal. This means that he is tee teeing some (which is good). If the fluid level decreases, it means that his kidneys are starting to be affected by this congenital defect. If that happens, we have to have a plan. For some people this is fetal surgery, other times it's delivery- It depends on the gestational age at the time. It looks like his bladder is pretty much always full which causes urine to back up into the ureters and kidneys. That's where the kidney damage comes from.

So, now we wait...We have our pediatric urologist appointment on Friday, September 11. (which I found out today is not with the original Dr. I was referred to-this is where I have to trust that God's hand is in this). I have been extremely anxious about the whole thing. I have read so that I will be educated on questions to ask the MD. Well, in that reading, I have, of course, read some pretty disturbing things. One thing that is a common thread is that this happens to only boys and it happens in 1/8000 births. 1/3 of these kids end up with end stage kidney disease b/c of the kidney damage. I have read multiple stories of kidney removal/ transplant related to this problem. Needless to say, I'm ready to talk to the specialist. I have met a girl through a friend from church whose son had the same problem. They underwent fetal surgery at 24 weeks and kidney removal at age 2. But, she says now, a kindergartener, is doing fine.

Some of my worries, which to some may seem petty, are will I be able to deliver at the hospital where I have been receiving care? (which is where I also work), WILL MY BABY BE ABLE TO BE WITH ME IN THE HOSPITAL OR WILL HE BE IN NICU?, Will I be able to nurse my baby, will he have to have that awful abdominal wall stint thing?, is he hurting inside me with his bladder being constantly distended?, will he be one of the ones that has to undergo kidney removal or transplant?, will I make it to full term?, will he have to have fetal surgery?...

These are just to name a few.

I know that he could have a much worse problem. I know that I shouldn't read internet articles (which i have read mostly medical journal articles), I know that there is nothing I can do about it at this time. This is what I have heard from people (mostly family members). I know these things. But, how can I not worry? What I need is PRAYER, LOTS OF PRAYER. Prayer for this sweet little innocent baby boy, Prayer for this weak and weary mama who can't help but think of all of the possibilities, prayer for Lanie Mae who will, no doubt, be affected in some way by this. She has already seen me crying and doesn't understand why.

Here is a picture of me at 22 weeks/ 3 days...